If you’ve ever been on a wine tour, you know that by stop three, the vibes are immaculate, the volume is questionable, and the quotes? Absolutely golden. Whether you’re with your besties, your work crew, or that one friend who insists she’s a wine connoisseur after watching a single documentary, there are some things you’re guaranteed to hear on a Yarra Valley wine tour.
1. “Wait, we’ve already been to three wineries?”
Time? Never heard of her. One minute you’re sipping your first glass, the next you’re convincing yourself that another round is a great idea. The day moves in a strange, slightly tipsy time warp, and before you know it, the bus driver is doing a headcount to make sure no one has gone rogue.
2. “This one tastes… really wine-y.”
A classic. A foolproof tasting note. Works for literally every glass you try. You swirl it dramatically, hold it up to the light, nod thoughtfully, and say this with absolute confidence. It’s a phrase designed to make you sound like you know what you’re talking about—without actually knowing a thing.
3. “I think I like red wine now?”
Ah, the transformation. Every white wine drinker has a moment where they try one smooth Pinot Noir and suddenly question everything they thought they knew about themselves. It starts with a tentative sip, followed by a surprised “Oh?” And before you know it, you’re walking out of the winery with a bottle you never thought you’d buy.
4. “I can definitely taste the oak.”
Do you know what oak tastes like? No. Are you going to pretend you do? Absolutely. And the best part? No one questions it. The trick is to furrow your brow slightly, take a slow sip, and say it with authority. Bonus points if you throw in something about “notes of vanilla” for extra credibility.
5. “Can I just live here?”
The rolling vineyards, the endless wine, the cheese boards—why would you ever want to leave? The idea of abandoning real life to become a professional wine taster seems very appealing after a few glasses. Some people make drunken online purchases; you start Googling “How to buy a vineyard.”
6. “How many bottles is too many to take home?”
A question that never has a real answer. The limit does not exist. You start off thinking you’ll just grab one or two, then suddenly you’re standing at the checkout with half a case and convincing yourself that this is an “investment.”
7. “I could totally be a winemaker.”
After approximately 20 minutes of listening to the cellar door host explain the winemaking process, you definitely think you could start your own vineyard. (Spoiler: You could not.) You’re already envisioning yourself strolling through the vines in a wide-brimmed hat, swirling a glass of your own creation. Never mind that you can barely keep a houseplant alive.
8. “Wait, did we just become best friends?”
A wine tour has a magical way of bonding people for life. One minute, you’re strangers on a bus; the next, you’re tagging each other in memes and planning group holidays together. The right amount of wine turns casual small talk into heartfelt declarations of undying friendship.
9. “Who stole my glass?”
Hint: No one stole it. You just put it down somewhere and walked away mid-sentence. (Check the cheese table.)
Bonus: Things You Hear on the Drive Home
By the time you’re back on the bus, things start to take a turn. The quotes shift from fun and enthusiastic to slightly slurred and very relatable:
- “I’m gonna need a nap before I even think about going out tonight.”
- “Are we getting Maccas on the way back?”
- “I am not hungover yet, but I will be.”
- “Did we ever figure out who stole my glass?”
Been there, heard that? Next time you’re on one of our Yarra Valley wine tours, keep your ears open—you might just catch a new iconic quote to add to the list. Cheers! 🍷
